Don't Tell Steve

When Steve and I left Gozo after living there for over four years, our next stop was a house sit in France. We initially did a 2 week trial run to make sure that it was right for us, and also to allow the owners, Polly and Howard to make sure we were right for them. It became happily apparent that the arrangement would suit us all, and so we agreed to make this our home for the foreseeable future.

The wonderful Grolsch who would become a regular visitor - especially at tea time!

I get to indulge in my passion for riding again










After our 2 week trial, we returned to the UK to await the birth of my first grand baby (2 weeks late no less). While waiting, we made the fatal mistake of “looking round” the shops and seeing all manner of wonderful things we could take back to France with us to make the lovely little cottage there our home. Suffice to say, within the time we were there, we amassed “stuff”. Now, those of you who know us will be aware that when we left Gozo, we sold our “stuff” and were glad to do so. We held garage sales, went to car boot sales, in our efforts to be rid of it all.

·        Let’s travel light, we said;

·        Let’s never have this much stuff again we said

·        Wow this feels liberating not to have stuff we said

……. Sigh.

Looking at our newly acquired stuff, we realised that it would NOT all fit into the baggage allowance of a Jet2 hold, no matter how generous it was. It was at this point that we decided,

Let’s buy a vehicle and drive back to France, that way we can take all our stuff with us.

Brilliant plan. And so to Buckinghamshire, where we had located a left hand drive 4 x 4 Land Rover Discovery. Yes it was 21 years old, but was in great condition and for the money, was an absolute bargain. Never ones to let the grass grow, we paid cash, and drove it back to Derbyshire with us the same day. It really did seem like a good buy, and I was filled with the delicious anticipation of filling it with stuff. After all, it was a 7 seater, and when those seats were all folded up ……. well, that’s a lot of visits to Dunelm, Tesco and B&Q J

I became Dunelm’s best customer as I set about purchasing enough bedding to equip a small hospital – well there WAS a sale on. Then to B&Q where Steve was in his element buying new tools to replace all those he had sold in Gozo. Curry’s was next, and why not, let’s have a new TV; a trip to the 2^nd hand shop yielded a bargain chest of drawers for £10 and then a kitchen cabinet for about the same ……

STOP ……. enough! Even Steve was beginning to look doubtful that it would all go in, even after he’d dismantled all the drawers!

Add to all this, the kitchen things I had brought from Gozo, plus all the clothes and extras, and we really would be full to bursting. A few hours of careful packing (by Steve of course, I was not allowed to pack), and a bit of repacking saw it all squashed safely into the Land Rover.

Now THAT'S full!

Yep, no more room for any more new bedding




Next thing was making sure we had the necessary bits and pieces in the vehicle in order to be compliant with French law. Among other things, this meant purchasing a red triangle, 2 high visibility vests, and a spare set of bulbs. Good old Amazon provided all of these things, so we were set. Of course, Steve already HAD a high visibility vest – don’t ask me why, it’s just a man thing I guess.

As I unpacked the goodies, Steve’s mum piped up, “You needn’t have bought those vests, I’ve got 2 of them”.

Why am I not surprised? I thought to myself.

So, this now meant we had 4 high visibility vests. As we only needed 2, I packed the spare 2 away, or so I thought ………

Ahh the high visibility vest - of which we had so many









The day before our departure, Steve asked me (for the 76^th time) if I’d got everything. Yes, yes and yes. I had all the things, which needed to be in the front of the vehicle with me, in a neat pile by the door. This included the insurance document, log book and MOT, plus details of break down cover etc. Sitting neatly on top of it all were the 2 high visibility vests.

“Are you sure we’ve got 2?” Steve asked seriously.

“Yes” I replied somewhat wearily, having been asked the same question many times already, “They’re there by the door”

“2 of them?” he pressed

“YES, 2 of them” I said trying not to sound snappy. “I’m using the ones your mum gave us, I packed the other 2 spare ones away”

“Good, because we have to have 2; and they have to be in the front with us” he reminded me yet again.

“Yes, I get it” I replied “2 vests in the front” – I suspect I was a bit snappish at this point.

Anyway, later that day, I decided to put all the necessaries in the front of the Land Rover ready for the trip. I picked up the focus of so many discussions, the high visibility vests, but wait, what was this? The plural “vests” had somehow become a singular …… “Vest”. I looked around; nope, there was definitely only one. A feeling of slight panic came over me, as while I knew that somewhere in this house were 3 other identical items, I had no idea where they were. We had packed a lot of stuff away and it was now safely stored in the attic. There was no way I could begin dragging it all down again and rooting around for the vests L

“Everything okay?” asked Steve eyeing the pile of things, “Got your vests?”

It was at this point, despite by nature being a really honest person, that I realised I could not admit to having messed up.  Instead, with y stomach crimping into a ball, I smiled and said, “Yep, all here”, while wondering how to dig my way out of this one.

I mean, for goodness sake, the man had asked me endless times about them, but I knew, as all women worldwide will know, that to admit failure in this kind of situation, leads to man doing a lot of sighing and head shaking. It would also lead to man making condescending comments such as, “But, I asked you several times if you had them, and you assured me you did”. You know the kind of thing I mean?

So, I did what any self-respecting female would do in my position. When we went into town for “one last look around”, I muttered an excuse about taking a t shirt back to Asda, and while alone, nipped furtively into the nearest army stores and bought another damn vest! Oh how it irked me to have to pay for yet another, knowing, we had 3 of the dratted things somewhere in the house.

Never mind, all’s well that ends well; we made the long journey to France without incident and thankfully without the need for a single vest, never mind 2.

Just promise me something will you? No one tell Steve J

And we're off!

(And Steve doing that thing with his thumbs that ALL men seem to do .... why?)




Freya